Monday, February 25, 2013

Cabal Hijack! Meet Holly, Heather & Brand

 Hey y’all, this is Holly Thomas, CEO of Big Hoss’s Vibrators and today I’m interviewing a girl who should have discovered our line of sexy vibes a long time ago. Put your hands together for Heather Smith! Oh, and Brand McNally.

(Crickets sound because this isn’t a television studio and there is no live audience. It’s an illegally recorded discussion between Holly, Heather and Brand. Because that’s how Holly rolls.)

Holly: How in dildo hell did the two of you meet?

Heather: Brand’s crew – did I tell you he’s a foreman of his very own crew – has been rehabbing a building around the corner from my library. We’ve always been very aware of each other and he’s proven himself a hero more than once coming to my rescue.

Brand: *shrugs* Who doesn’t notice hot chicks going past? Otherwise I’m stuck looking at Mikey and Jimbo all day.

Holly: Uh-huh, okay, that’s fascinating. Brand, can we get a look at your monster cock please? I have to see how it stands up to my beloved Hoss.

Brand: I knew that’s what you wanted all along Miz Holly. You might want to back up some so you don’t get a poking! *proudly drops his pants*

Heather: *hides her face*

Holly: Well now…to be certain this isn’t an elaborate hoax, maybe I should give it a good tug. *reaches out and drops her hand* Damn, Cade might not like that. *heavy sigh*

Moving on, Heather, what did you learn from your experience with the eloquent and well-hung Brand?

Heather: That when your Prince comes he might be spectacularly well hung, but have the social skills of a sponge.

Holly: Or spectacularly not hung, but that’s why women invented vibrators, right? Heh. Ahem. Brand, is there anything you’d change about your night together?

Brand: Reckon we could have eaten something eventually, but what can I say? My honeybritches just can’t get enough!

Holly: *murmurs* I can’t blame her. *shakes her head* This is for both of you: What does your future hold now that your story has been told?

Heather: Well, we have a couples retreat with some friends of mine at the end of the month and my mom’s dying to meet him.
Brand: World rockin’ in about twenty minutes.

Holly: Oh my. This is also for both of you: Any words of wisdom you’d like to share with the au—I mean with me?

Heather: It’s worth waiting for that someone who makes you feel special. The books and movies aren’t …wrong just maybe a little misguided. Your prince will come ladies, you just might have to overlook a few…minor details. But it’s all worthwhile.

Brand: Don’t come a knockin’ when this couch starts to rockin’. You might want to turn your head if you don’t want a show, Miz Holly.

(Sound of a microphone clicking off)

I wish I would’ve have stuck around to see Brand in action. For scientific purposes of course. I’m not a voyeur or anything. Ahem. But I do believe I might have to have a talk with Cade soon…
Ah, anyway, that’s it, that’s the dirt on Heather and Brand. What do y’all think? Are these two destined to be together or is it a match made in Comedic Hell? Just askin’.

Holly is the heroine from Danica Avet’s ‘Cookie Bound’ from Fondled and Gobbled: Someone Had To Do It. The other two? Well, they’re Sasha Devlin’s characters from A Special Brand of Lovin' in Fondled and Gobbled: Going Back for Seconds.

Sasha Devlin Website   Facebook   Twitter

Both volumes of F&G have released and are taking the erotic community by, well, by the balls. They are hilariously hot, or fuck-tastically funny… either way you look at it erotic romance will never be the same.

Fondled and Gobbled: Someone Had To Do It
BUY LINK

Blurb:
The perfect man—with the imperfect cock and oral skills. The Dom who isn’t a dom, and the man who proves it to him. The alien with dessert-flavored semen and three cocks. The older man (a kajillionaire with a penthouse in Seattle…) who has limitless ability to come all night with his naïve little virgin. A woman on a diet who craves a feast of meat and finds herself five Broadshaft Brothers who can deliver.
If you’re looking for the perfect romance with the perfect hero and heroine, this isn’t it! This is a series of spoofs, parodies, just-for-fun lighthearted take-offs. It’s for all us longtime, hard-core romance readers who can laugh at the clichés, purple prose and “suspend your disbelief” plot devices that haunt our beloved favorite genre.

You can read even more erotic spoofs and goofs in "Fondled and Gobbled: Going Back for Seconds."


Fondled and Gobbled: Going Back for Seconds
BUY LINK

Blurb:
The virgin whose carefully planned hymen removal doesn’t work out the way all the romance novels told her it would. A busty broad doing what she can to get over her penis anxiety—assisted by a cadre of male strippers. A not-so-bright (and not so “big”) alien who comes to claim his life mate, and the Earth girl who wants to be claimed at all costs. A cursed, mute shapeshifter who needs to pop his cherry with his unsuspecting fated mate.

If you’re looking for the perfect romance with the perfect hero and heroine, this isn’t it! This is a series of spoofs, parodies, just-for-fun lighthearted take-offs. It’s for all us longtime, hard-core romance readers who can laugh at the clichés, purple prose and “suspend your disbelief” plot devices that haunt our beloved favorite genre.

You can read even more erotic spoofs and goofs in "Fondled and Gobbled: Someone Had To Do It."

3 comments:

Me: said...

I still laugh, even after reading the stories and reading these interviews. Thanks for continuing to allow our madness!

Dalton Diaz said...

Again, Freakin' Hysterical!!!! Thank you!

Danica Avet said...

After reading the second book this weekend...I was in danger of breaking my Kindle because I was laughing so hard.