Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Just what does a Princess do anyway? Advice for Kate...

by Evelyn Q. Darling
Romance Reporter At Large

Mirror, mirror on the wall…who is the fairest princess of all?
Why, Kate Middleton, of course.

All eyes are on the lovely Kate as she weds Prince William with single girls all over the world wishing they were in her shoes.

And that they could give up their 9 to 5 jobs to be a princess.

I mean, it’s not like a princess has to work for a living. It’s all fancy balls and pretty clothes and dashing around with her handsome prince, right?

No more fast trips to the market with a purse full of coupons or emptying your Spam box or cleaning your bathroom.

Imagine lounging around the palace all day, eating chocolate truffles and texting your friends about how you have nothing to do but shop…

Hold it.

As Kate is sure to find out, being a princess is a full-time job.

In past weeks, this reporter has explored how to interview your romance heroine for a job, but what if that job is for a princess?

Just what does a Princess do anyway?

Here is a Princess Primer for all you Kate wannabes to have under your pillow when your Prince Charming pops the question:

1. A princess must never forget that her job is service to her people. Duty and compassion are also important. Okay, so that means being nice to everyone you meet, including your mother-in-law, the Queen.

2. Don’t go around the palace snapping photos of the royal family on your cell phone and putting them on your website. Definitely not.

3. When addressing the queen, you say “Ma’am” as in jam. What pet name you call your Prince is between you and him…and remember, palace walls do have ears…

4. You must appear well-groomed and proper at all times. Which means no funky sweats, no sloppy flip-flops and for heaven’s sake, make certain you’ve removed the Royal Nail decals of you and the Prince before the big day.

5. And finally, when the Prince gives you that first official Royal Kiss on the palace balcony, wear smear proof lipstick. No lipstick on the collar for the future King!

And by all means, practice, practice, practice the “royal wave.” You’ll want to have it down perfect when you’re Queen!

Evelyn Q. Darling is the alter ego of Jina Bacarr, author of The Blonde Samurai: “She embraced the way of the warrior. Two swords. Two loves.”

Jina Bacarr is also the author of The Blonde Geisha ,Cleopatra's Perfume, Naughty Paris, Tokyo Rendezvous, a Spice Brief, and Spies, Lies & Naked Thighs


Michelle Polaris said...

Taking notes as we speak. I'll be clearing my schedule.

Wynter Daniels said...

I'm betting her job will go way beyond full time! I'll stick with my anonymous life and my coupons;-)

Paige Tyler said...

I think I'm the only one who isn't into he whole royal wedding thing. LOL! I didn't even know when the wedding was or which prince was getting married! LOL! I'm actually more interested in the NFL Draft on Thurs. LOL!


Jina Bacarr said...

Michelle, you'll make a lovely princess!!

Jina Bacarr said...

Wynter, I'm sure you're a princess in your house and that's where it really counts.

Jina Bacarr said...

Paige, let's hope the owners and players settle their dispute and there is a draft!

Dalton Diaz said...

Ah, the royal wave. Very important. If learned correctly, the lower arm will not continue to flap in the breeze after the hand stops moving.

Jina Bacarr said...

Dalton--your royal wave comment is fabulous!! A few biceps curls will do the trick!