Every girl needs a good laugh

I thought I'd share some cute jokes today. Okay, some are a tad naughty. (hehe)
~ Casey Crow

I'm thinking, though, a male came up with the first one, but the females take revenge with the last one!

MORNING SEX

She was standing in the kitchen preparing to
boil eggs for breakfast, wearing only
the 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.

As I walked in almost awake, she turned and said softly,
'You've got to make love to me this very moment.'

My eyes lit up and I thought, 'I am either
still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day.'

Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced
her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said, 'Thanks,' and returned to the stove,
her 'T' shirt still around her neck.

A little puzzled, I asked, 'What was that all about?'

She explained, 'The egg timer's broken.

*******

Q: Why are men better then women in reading maps?
A: Because only a man can look at 2.5 centimeters and imagine it to be a mile.

*******

The Man Of The House...SMILE

A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, 'You Can Be THE Man of Your House.

Finding new courage that he never knew he had, he stormed into the kitchen and announced to his wife, "From now on, youneed to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is the 'Law.' You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, bring it to me, and when I am done eating my meal, you will clear the dishes and serve me a scrumptious dessert.

After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will make love the way I want! Afterwards, you are going to draw

me a bath so I can relax. You will put on soothing music, wash my back, towel me dry, and bring me my robe.

You will massage my feet and hands to relieve any last bit of tension in me, so that I can sleep like a baby. Then, tomorrow,

guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?

The wife replied, "The funeral director would be my first guess, unless I have your ass cremated."

********

And my personal favorite: