Monday, June 25, 2012

Snarky Sex Jokes

What if.... is a favorite exercize for writers. Recently I've been browsing a reference book for verbal sparring called The Snark Handbook by Lawrence Dorfman. I paused at the section about sex. After which I wondered, what if I wrote a character into my stories whose quirk was to tell sexual jokes all of the time. Could I make this guy interesting? Anything but annoying? Or what if it was a woman...much less typical a scenario. So this idea has joined the endless list of ideas with which to play if I actually get off my butt and start to write more.

 In the meantime, here's some material I'll store away for this hypothetical character:

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's a pretty good one. --Woody Allen 

You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither. --Steve Martin

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog. "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall." --Eleanor Roosevelt

Why did God create men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn. --Madonna

God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. --Robin Williams

I said I could make love for eight hours. What I didn't say was that this included four hours of begging and tehn dinner and a movie. --Sting

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.


Wynter Daniels said...

Funny! Humor is one of the biggest aphrodisiacs out there!

Naima Simone said...

LOL!! Those are hilarious!! I love Eleanor. Roosevelt's! Funny post, Michelle! Thanks for the laugh!

Michelle Polaris said...

Thanks Wynter and Naima. We all need laughter.

Casey Crow said...

I liked the one by Steve Martin :)