Monday, June 25, 2012

Snarky Sex Jokes

What if.... is a favorite exercize for writers. Recently I've been browsing a reference book for verbal sparring called The Snark Handbook by Lawrence Dorfman. I paused at the section about sex. After which I wondered, what if I wrote a character into my stories whose quirk was to tell sexual jokes all of the time. Could I make this guy interesting? Anything but annoying? Or what if it was a woman...much less typical a scenario. So this idea has joined the endless list of ideas with which to play if I actually get off my butt and start to write more.

 In the meantime, here's some material I'll store away for this hypothetical character:

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's a pretty good one. --Woody Allen 


You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither. --Steve Martin


I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog. "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall." --Eleanor Roosevelt


Why did God create men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn. --Madonna


God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. --Robin Williams


I said I could make love for eight hours. What I didn't say was that this included four hours of begging and tehn dinner and a movie. --Sting


Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

4 comments:

Wynter Daniels said...

Funny! Humor is one of the biggest aphrodisiacs out there!

Naima Simone said...

LOL!! Those are hilarious!! I love Eleanor. Roosevelt's! Funny post, Michelle! Thanks for the laugh!

Michelle Polaris said...

Thanks Wynter and Naima. We all need laughter.

Casey Crow said...

I liked the one by Steve Martin :)