I should be used to getting rejections by now. No matter how many times I'm told my stuff is great and that I'm so verra close to a sale...it's never the "right" project for the editors. The funny thing is, I'm not totally rejected... After they pass on the manuscript, these NY editors are asking my agent for more proposals from me. They're not too picky what genre I send their way, and it's obvious they are waiting for just the right manuscript...but I'm starting to lose steam. I should be happy my submissions are read quickly but it still stings. Truthfully, writing a proposal is freakin' hard. I think I've written almost 3 already and working on 3 more. Yeah, it's a lot of brain power. That's almost like writing 2 whole books! However, I'm not going to harp on it. At least I don't have to finish the entire book before sending it out, so I should be thankful.
Honestly, if writing was my only day job, I'd crank those puppies out...unfortunately, I work full-time managing my graphics business and also helping out at my family business. This leaves me with barely enough time to sleep. Raccoon eyes are my permanent trademark these days because even when I sleep early, I don't sleep more than a handful of hours. The good news is that I get to enjoy my wine a lot more. What's better than to drown my woes than in a nice glass of White Zin or Moscato? I suppose I'm starting to accept the rejections a lot better than I did when I received the first few ones. I think I've had only 2 form rejections and the rest have been personally written rejections. My recovery time is a lot faster, that's for sure. I'm not alone in this. Many of my friends who have had tons of books published with NY are facing the same rejections. Competition is fierce and unless you have a story that is going to be a sure-fire hit, the chances of a publisher taking a chance on new voices or out-of-the-box storytelling have become slim.
Trust me, I'm not losing faith....I chose this profession and I'm going to stick with it. It's easy to give up but I've come too far to turn back. I've spent nine years pursuing publishing and I already have a decent backlist. However, I have big dreams of hitting the list. I don't plan on throwing all these years of hard work away because of uncertainty and self-doubt. Of course, I still deserve the day or two to feel sorry for myself a little bit...but I know that I will pick myself back up and eventually reach my goal....that's the beauty of fighting for a dream. Don't you agree?