Thursday, April 19, 2012

School Vacation, aka HELL

School Vacation

Remember when you used to look forward to school vacations as a kid? The sleeping in, eating when you want to, staying up all night...maybe not video games so much like today, but I do remember being delighted to sit there with a joystick hitting a little white ball back and forth on the tv. Yes, I’m dating myself and talking about Pong. High tech stuff, there.

So that great feeling of approaching vacation? Not so much when you’re the mom. Even less when they’re teenage boys. It kinda goes like this:

Fri Eve of vacation: “Awww, let them stay up until midnight. They’ve earned it, and they really do have to kill that Zombie before bed.”

Sat morn: “Awww, let them sleep. They’ve worked hard for the break, and they were up late killing Zombies.”

Sun morn: “Hey, it’s one o’clock. I realize you just got up, but I’d really appreciate it if you’d empty the dishwasher before you get in the shower.”

Mon morn: “Who left their dishes in the living room? You could have at least brought them to the sink. I know it’s full, but that’s because you never emptied the dishwasher. Do that now, please. No, not after you kill that”

Tues morn: “TV stays off until you’ve done a few things. Yes, I know you emptied the dishwasher and I made you do all the dishes that never should have piled up in the first place, but that meant the dishwasher got filled and it ran again. Empty it. Now. And oh, btw, put away the folded clothes that have been in the hall outside your door for a week, and clean the Guinea Pig cage.”

Wed morn: “Stop killing Zombies and EMPTY THE DAMN DISHWASHER. NOW. And if you don’t put those clothes away, I’m going to put them in the dirty Guinea Pig cage.”

Thurs morn: “You are the Zombie. I will kill you if you so much as turn that game on.
5 min later: “My bad; let me rephrase that. I will kill you if you so much as turn ANY game on.”

Fri morn: “Don’t talk to me. No games, no tv, no musical instruments until you have done the chores I have posted on the refrigerator and every bathroom mirror and toilet seat in the house.”

Sat morn: There are no words. Hand DH the list of chores and head out the door for the day. He’s very confused, especially seeing the Guinea Pig happily burrowing into a pile of folded tighty-whities in the cage.

Sun morn: Chores are done. Ask no questions. School starts tomorrow, and I’m finally getting that happy feeling I used to have when vacation started as a kid.

Sun night: OMG, is that a school project due tomorrow that you’re starting an hour before bedtime?”


Wynter Daniels said...

LOL! So glad my kids are getting older now. I remember that time fondly - er... not so fondly;-)

Dalton Diaz said...

Last weekday in hell. Did get vaccuuming out of one of them & they had teeth cleaning appts (evil, aren't I?), but Rock Band is blaring now.

WildAboutBones said...

Hysterical! ROTFLMAO! So glad I don't have kids when I see things like this. Thanks for posting, made my day!

Michelle Libby/JIllian Hallowell said...

Ding, ding, ding. Perfectly captured my week. Except for the overnight guests thrown in for extra fun. What's an extra 12-year-old boy to annoy the 16 year-old girl.

Thanks for the laugh.

Michelle Libby

Dalton Diaz said...

10:55 pm and Rock band is still going, volume set at 11. House looks like a bomb hit it and I have people coming over at noon tomorrow. Think if I go to bed the magic fairies will come and clean up?