Thursday, February 9, 2012

Is Your Valentine Special?

How do you know if the man (gender can be changed to suit your needs) you are dating is “THE ONE?” This simple Valentine’s Day test offers the opportunity to figure out if you’re headed for the altar, not going beyond the bedroom, or if that emergency pint of Haagen Dazs in the freezer would make a better partner.

1. You make a lot less money than he does, but insist on paying for dinner. He:
a) says he loves Taco Bell
b) makes it clear you can pay him back in other way
c) keeps a tally and throws it in your face all the time

2. On your 3rd date, you tell him you have 2 young kids. He:
a) asks if you’ve ever put a guitar in their hands
b) says, “But you have every other weekend to hook-up, right?”
c) asks if they’ll interfere with the time he’s carved out of his busy schedule to spend with you.

3. You have wicked PMS, and are justifiably bitchy. He snaps back for the first time ever, making you cry. (PMS, remember?) He:
a) apologizes because nothing matters but that he made your cry
b) laments the fact that he won’t be getting sex for the next week
c) rolls his eyes and tells you to “deal.”

4. You go with your man to buy his dream truck, and when you get back to his place, you open the truck door and scrape it on a wall. He says:
a) that’s why he bought a truck
b) (with a smile) that you owe him a blowjob a day - for life
c) he can’t believe how stupid you are.

5. You are majorly directionally challenged, and are trying to read a map (GPS’s don’t exist to lie yet) as you make your way to a Reggae Boat Cruise. He:
a) calmly flips the map right side up at the next red light
b) says he has a better idea and pulls into the nearest hotel
c) insists on driving AND reading the map because your safety isn’t in question - he’s got this.

There you go. Five simple examples with three possible scenarios.
A = marriage
B = have fun, but when the fun is over, will likely become a C
C = get out your spoon

And if you haven’t guessed by now, these were real scenarios, and my man was and is an A all the way through, though I don’t mind if he delves toward B territory for a few hours.

Yeah, I just got mushy on you. Hey, it’s my pre-Valentine’s Day post! This one's for you, Stud.


Ashlyn Chase said...

This is a great and true test. I think my man passed everything except the map test. Yes, I'm directionally challenged and he'd rather read the map himself than ask for directions.

Naima Simone said...

Aaw! That is so sweet! You're allowed to be mushy with a man like that! Like Ash, my husband passed every question except for the map one. On long road trips, he only allows me behind the wheel if we're on interstates that are straight shots for hours! LOL! Happy Valentine's Day! We both have keepers!

Brenda Williamson said...

I don't have a date or a man, or a significant other. :-o

Anyone's man got a spare cutie brother. ;-)

Mai said...

Awwww that's so sweet, no wonder he's a Stud :) Great catch DD

Dalton Diaz said...

Thanks, guys. Yep, he's a keeper.

Jax Cassidy said...

That's so sweet!

My man is definitely an A but sometimes he also falls into the B category, which isn't bad either :)

Casey Crow said...

Too sweet. Here's hoping y'all have an awesome Valentine's Day!

Michelle Polaris said...

You are a lucky woman, Dalton. Valentines is a joy to celebrate with one of these.

Dalton Diaz said...

Don't forget, I kissed a mighty big toad first. Epic F all the way.

I think those are learning experiences so we can recognize our true Valentine for the prince he is.

Callie Croix said...

I think the most romantic things my DH have done for me have been in times of crisis. Heck, we weren't even dating yet when I got a call that my mom had been hit by a train and was in hospital (yes, really). The guy I was dating (for over a year at this point) came up to sit with me for a few minutes until it was clear my mom was going to be okay, then left to head back into town because it was a Sunday night and he had university classes in the morning.

What?!? Hello, my mother has just been hit by a freaking TRAIN. I had classes in the morning too, yet somehow I managed to stay with her all night. Jerk.

Anyway, DH heard about this and came roaring up to the hospital. He sat with me until almost four in the morning and insisted on driving me home. Yup, he's a keeper.