Ladies, do you remember that old chant we used to do back when we were Preteens?
Elbows pointed and thrusting backward: “We must, we must, we must increase our bust!”
Well, I think I did that one or a thousand times too many. Yes, it was that time again: I went bra shopping. Despite those childhood wishes and what anyone B cup and under thinks, this is not a good experience for those of us who are over endowed. Especially when there seems to have been a slight revolution since the last time I forced myself to do the deed.
So whose bright idea was it to pad minimizers for a DD size? Seriously? M-I-N-I-M-I-Z-E-R. How is adding padding to the cups minimizing the size? Great nipple cover, but if I lost my mind and wanted to be a DDD, I’d...well, see a psychiatrist. Bend me, shape me, and for the love of god, lift me, but padding I don’t need.
Remember the days of bullet bras with a seam across the middle of the cups? Cones that could take out small children and keep your feet dry in the rain. Think Madonna, but with the bra on the inside. Yeah, I’m glad those days are over, but I still don’t want to look like a linebacker with this new version.
I do wonder what’s coming next. Valve and pump? Ooh, like the sneakers of old! Sitting around the house, let the air out. Going out on a hot date? Pump me up!!
Just don’t add padding.