Monday, September 12, 2011


One of the toughest things an erotic romance or erotica writer must do is share that very first erotic scene or two with another person. It's a lot like getting naked with someone for the first time. Yeah, it feels that personal.

It took me a few weeks of trying to finally share my first one with a critique partner even though we'd been exchanging chapters for months. Everything that came before that was just hot romance. It didn't even come close to being erotic romance, so it was tough to open myself up like that. What made it harder still was that I knew her personally.

But after sharing that very first naughty bit, the next time was a piece of cake. Why? I suspect it's a lot like losing one's virginity. After that first experience, it's all fine. In fact, it's pretty spectacular!

So let's dish. Tell me about your first time - sharing your first erotic scene, that is:-)

Are you a wrter? If so, you'll want to come by my blog this Thursday (and every Thursday for the next month and a half) for my Thursday with an Editor series. Kensington's Megan Records kicks off the series with her lists of Submission Dos and Don'ts.


Callie Croix said...

Lol, yeah, I felt really nervous too. Lucky for me I hadn't actually "met" her in person yet so I didn't have to look her in the eye ;)

I had real trouble with using the harsher, more explicit descriptive words. The female "p" word especially. One of my editors makes me use it in practically every instance rather than "sex", "between her thighs", "folds", etc. It's sure taken some getting used to!

I'm really looking forward to your editor series. Should be very enlightening!

Ashlyn Chase said...

I had not problem sharing these scenes with on-line critique partners, but when my in-person critique partner insis I read them out loud, I almost died.

I can write all the dirty words, but actually say them? Oh my God! Will there be someone around the corner with a bar of soap?

Like you, once I got over it, all was well. Now I enjoy getting feedback on those scenes and hearing hers too.

Wynter Daniels said...

Callie; I shy away from the p word, too. I make myself use it at least once per book, but usually from male POV since I think many women feel the same way.

Ash - read the scene aloud? Yikes. Like you, I can write it now, but I'd never utter most of those naughty words aloud!

Jina Bacarr said...

Wynter, you have an amazing line-up of editors planned for your blog! I highly recommend anyone interested in the submissions process check out your blog every Thursday.

I know I'll be there!

Wynter Daniels said...

Thanks, Jina.I think it will be a great series!

Michelle Polaris said...

I don't remember my first time. Maybe I was drunk? Nah, but it was probably done electronically. Yeah, most definitely. And I was nervous as hell about the feedback. But now I don't care one way or another. And I have no problem using any of the big hitter words. They are fun words used in the correct spirit. And it's liberating to write them. Sex is not something to be ashamed of, even in its messy more vulgar form it is natural.

Wynter Daniels said...

I guess all that guilt from childhood sneaks up on some of us. More power to you if you've escaped that;-)