Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Words of Wisdom


So I recently celebrated a birthday--if you ask which one I might black out, so don't ask! Let's just say I am waaaay legal and leave it at that. As I "elevate" in age, I'm thankful for every single year, month and day. Believe me! I'm getting not only older, but more experienced, sexier and wiser. Did I mention sexier? I asked the hubby and he assured me that I am...he better had...

As I age like a fine, one-of-a-kind wine, I've realized several things. Encyclopedia Brown, Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle and Beezus and Ramona are timeless classics. Red meat really does take a long freakin' time to digest and forty is the new thirty. Yet there are other nuggets of wisdom that a twenty-one year old has not lived long enough to know or understand.

1. Dying the va-jay-jay is suddenly not as absurd as it once sounded.
2. Yes, it is possible to pull your back by sneezing.
3. There really should be a font for sarcasm.
4. MTV actually used to play videos...I should know since I remember when the channel debuted...
5. The Ten Commandments is not an accurate biblical accounting. Neither is Ben-Hur, by the way...
6. A good bra is a girl's best friend.
7. Spanks is a girl's BFF!
8. "Bad" does not mean "good" anymore...it's just bad to use, period. "Sharp" is too...
9. There comes a time when you are the embarrassment to your kids.
10. You will one day wake up and have morphed into your mother, including spouting such idioms as "I brought you in this world, I'll take you out."

So to all you barely legal people, you may have elastic skin and a metabolism that burns at the speed of light, but, um, er, I can quote The Facts of Life theme song! Take that!

3 comments:

Michelle Polaris said...

This is hilarious! I love your list and it is all true. I hated turing forty, but for some twisted reason this list makes me glad I did.

Naima Simone said...

LOL!! It is like having a "Come to Jesus" talk, finding the positive things about inching up there in age. If they're not necessarily pearls of wisdom, then they can be yummy, chocolatey "Goobers" of wisdom...or Whoppers...hee-hee!

Wynter Daniels said...

One's back isn't always the only casualty of a powerful sneeze! Not that I'll admit to anything else...