I love people. I truly do. In fact, I had something happen recently that hit home how wonderful people can be. But there are a few things complete strangers do that make me crazy, or I’m crazy so these things bother me. Not sure which, so you be the judge.
Here’s my list in no particular order, give or take a few (dozen) entries. Kidding. Not. No, really. This is how I feel this week and it’s my turn to post, so bite me.
People with no sense of humor
You know who I’m talking about. That person behind the register with the blank stare who won’t engage, or worse, a nurse or Dr. who doesn’t respond to nervous humor. That one is not only irritating, it’s downright cruel and bad business.
People who tailgate
Really? You want me to drive through the car in front of me, so you’re going to endanger all of us on the road so you can feel like you have huge cajones? Compensate much? Yes, people who drive too slowly and don’t pull over to let the long line of cars behind them pass are also annoying (and dangerous), but tailgating wins the bigger asshole award.
Exception: people who leave 2 or 3 car spaces between them and the guy in front of them for a green arrow. You don’t have to ride their bumper, but hello? You’re cutting off 2 or 3 cars from making the light.
People who bathe in perfume/aftershave
A little dab’ll do ya. Really. You can’t smell it anymore because you’ve effed up your own sense of smell with the stuff. Going beyond that dab doesn’t make you smell better, it just makes you smell. Added bonus points for causing instant severe misery to allergy sufferers.
People who whistle indoors
Repeat after me: whistling is a shrill sound that can and does hurt people’s ears. Go ahead, whistle while you work - as long as you work outside. It is not ok to whistle indoors, especially where people can’t escape the fact that you’ve happily crammed a chalkboard in their ear, reached in, and scraped all five fingernails.
People who let their dogs bark
Dogs bark. I get that. But if your dog barks incessantly, it’s a problem, and it’s your problem, not your neighbors’. Control your animal. It’s no different than if I let my kid stand under your window and cry all day/night.
People who call themselves Christian, then sit in judgment of others
This is a biggie. By your own rules, you are going to hell. Just thought I’d let you know.
Nobody’s perfect. I’m sure I do things that other people find incredibly annoying, and I’m sure there are things that aren’t on my list that annoy the crap out of others. Feel free to add to the list. Let’s raise awareness!!