Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Just the Facts, Ma'am

I racked my brain all day Monday for a subject to blog about. My husband threw suggestions out and I shot him dirty looks...and he stopped. I watched Miami Vice and decided, yeah! I'll talk about Crockett and Tubbs' clothes...meh. But, really, why did Castillo never look people in the eye when he spoke to them? I mean, would you trust someone who always talked to you in profile??

Okay, I'm digressing...but I was still searching and searching. When lo and behold all I had to do was open my email! Every year that "Get to Know Me" survey goes out where people fill in information about themselves, forward it and then we get to delete those answers and complete them with obscure, trivial facts. Fun! Fun! Especially the "What are you doing right now" question...depending on the time of day you kinda wish some people would skip that particular inquiry...really don't need to know you're basking in coital bliss. Eew!!

So I decided to piggy-back off that email and disclose ten facts you may not know about me. The catch? You have to reveal at least three things we didn't know! And make 'em good. No "My favorite color is blue". Booooring! Now if the thong you lost your virginity in was blue...oops! Dang! Now I've got to find a replacement fact! *sigh* Okay, here I go:

1. I've seen the movies Stand By Me 31 times and The Lost Boys 26. I had a huge crush on Corey Feldman...

2. I have an identical twin sister who is older by 5 minutes.

3. At a concert, I tripped and rolled aaaaallll the way down the stairs in front of God, country...and Immature.

4. I have 5 tattoos (just got another one last weekend) but I also have 2 brands. Yes. Brands. As in hot iron and flesh burning. Actually it was a hot coat hanger and rubbing alcohol. Still flesh burning. Long story. Don't ask. College and stupidity.

5. My favorite scents are cigarette ashes (even though I don't smoke and have asthma!), fresh coffee grounds and gas at the pump.

6. I had a New Kids on the Block doll. And I may--may, mind you!--know the entire dance routine to Please Don't Go Girl.

7. My sister was hit by the ice cream truck running for a push pop. Hee-hee! Okay, that may not have been one thing you didn't know about me, but it sure was funny...

8. When I was twelve, I took guitar lessons for one summer because I wanted to start my own rock band.

9. I actually believed the water monkeys that were advertised in the Archie comic books were real.

10. My grandmother busted me sneaking a beer and she made me drink the whole bottle. I peed the long ten-hour trip back home...and don't drink to this day. What a woman!

Okay, I've bared my soul! Your turn!

16 comments:

Wynter Daniels said...

Thanks for all those laughs! I thought Corey Feldman was cute, too. Okay - confession - I won't eat or drink after ANYONE, including my husband and kids. I've always been petrified of getting cooties.

Cara McKenna said...

I was so sure you were going in a Kiefer direction with those movies, Naima, then blammo! Corey Feldman'd!!

Confessions… I faked an orgasm once, even though I'm totally with Dan Savage about it being a really dumb thing to do. I only did it because the guy had way too much to prove and was going to go on forEVER if I didn't, and I was getting really sleepy. And bored. He had a penis piercing as well and so now the thought of those makes me yawn reflexively. Probably not the reaction the Prince Albert boys are aiming for.

There you go, TMI. You brought it on yourself.

Savannah Stuart said...

Love the list! I don't know if I can come up with three (decent) things so here's one. When I was 21 I packed up my tiny two door car with what few belongings I had, moved to The Keys and lived on a boat for a summer...well, more like five months. ;) Oh, and on the rare occasion I wear socks, I wear them inside out b/c I don't like that hem thingy by the toes.

Pain said...

WOW! Great blog! And who would think a naughty author chick blogger would actually wear a blue thong? LOL!

Confessions: 1. My favorite color is blue, but my wife is so sexy in brown to the point I get aroused seeing her in it. Whoops TMI!!! 2. I got busted in high school by a mom and had to run down the street in my boxers. and 3. This is the first time I confessed any of these things, so shhhh.

Nefertari EDT610 said...

Don't you just hate when your sister airs others' dirty laundry when she decides to air her OWN??? For the record, (ahem) I got hit by a BIKE on the way to the icre cream truck!!! And I was going for a frozen icee NOT a push pop! Anyhoo...here's my admission. When my cousin (sorry Michael, I'm outing you here) gave me my tattoo on my lower back he accidently saw the crack of my butt! He immediately jumped up, made some type of gagging noise and made me lay down on the table! It was soooo traumatic for both of us, man! I still shudder and blush! Some parts of the body family just shouldn't see, y'know?

Angel said...

Wonderful blog post, Naima! I don't know why you were so worried, all the posts I've read by you have been so funny and entertaining!

I totally didn't realize you had a twin sister (or have we discussed this before? I forget), but I have one too, only I'm older by 2 minutes. :)=

And I have a confession... I have no confessions. Yep, I am one of those boring "good girls" who is always afraid of getting into trouble, so she never steps out of line, well, only in my books. Yep, that's me, boring! *whistles*

Naima Simone said...

Hi, Wynter! I think you made TWO confessions with the Corey Feldman-thing! LOL! It's okay, I was sooo there with you. Now I ask myself why?? But then how could I have known he'd turn out to be, well...him?? LOL! And, get out??!! Cooties? Hilarious! Thank you so much for sharing that . Honestly, though, I won't eat after my daughter. But she's five and well, that's reason enough!

Naima Simone said...

Cara...um...wait a minute...my inner ear is still bleeding from the mental images my brain refuses to stop flashing...ROFL! You are crazy! And I know, I know. I thought Kiefer Sutherland was cute back then, too, but Corey had my heart...*sigh* Now...eh not so much! LOL!

Naima Simone said...

Hi, Savannah!! You know what? I know exactly what you mean by that hem thingy at the toe! I never thought about turning the sock inside out...hmmm...see what I can learn from the little known facts shared by my fellow authors? Hee-hee! And living on a boat? *high five* 'Cause at 21 I thought going away to COLLEGE was big and bold! LOL! Thanks for sharing, Savannah!

Naima Simone said...

Hi, Gary..er..Pain...*blowing kisses* Don't worry, we don't know each other at all...nope...that is not my husband...but hey, if he WAS I would be asking about this incident with the momma and the boxers...that's iffing he was...

And, Nina, that ain't the way I remember it!! And you's naaasty!! Eew! That's like looking at the plumber...pull dem drawers up, girl!!

Naima Simone said...

Hi, Angel!! Aaw shucks! Thanks...and I didn't even have to bribe you to say that. Hee-hee! Yup, we have the twin-thing in common besides the writing! We need to swap horror stories. Like when they get pulled over and give the cop your license...y'know things like that! LOL!

Oh, and the good girl thing, that's a confession. 'Specially since we ain't buying it!! LOL! Thanks for stopping by!!

Cara McKenna said...

Feldmanian addendum—watched Goonies tonight!

Naima Simone said...

Goonies was the movie!! I have the video in my collection! Baby Ruth! HAHAAAHHHHAAA!! Whew! *wiping tear* from corner of eye* Loved that movie...

Jina Bacarr said...

What a fascinating post, Naima!! I admit I also love the smell of fresh coffee--especially the memories of lingering in outdoor cafes that go with it...

Naima Simone said...

Hi Jina! I love brewing a fresh cup on a rainy morning when I don't have to go anywhere. I can just curl up on the couch, drink coffee and veg out! Doesn't happen too often which is probably why I love it so much!!

Brita Addams said...

I used to think that when you turned off the TV, whatever you were watching would be frozen, until you turned it back on. Of course, it never was, but I always seemed to think ... someday it will. Not my finest hour, but what can I say. I also forgot to wear underpants one day in the second grade and couldn't figure out why the boys wanted me to flip over on the monkey bars, again and again. Thank God for maturity, should it ever one day kick in.