Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Say It Isn't So!

Okay I’m just going to rant. This is my rant day.

Because I’m upset.

I’m hurt.

And disillusioned.

Ricky Martin just came out of the closet. He’s gay.

What the #$%&#@??!!!

When I read the article online my jaw dropped! My husband tossed me that “what the hell” look, like I should’ve known. Well hell no, I didn’t know! Ricky rocked my world back in the day with Living La Vida Loca and Shake Your Bom Bom. I mean, I kind of thought everybody in Menudo was gay, but Ricky made a believer out of me! And now…now…*sob* this!!

I had to call my sister and the conversation went like this:

Me: Nina, Ricky Martin just came out the closet!

Nina: gasp!

Me: Yes!

Nina: gasp!

Me: Yes!

Nina: Don’t bring me bad news like that.

Me: I know! Go to Yahoo!

Nina: I had plenty of fantasies about that man and you’re telling me he wouldn’t have wanted me and it didn’t have anything to do with my size?

Me: I know!

Nina: This is a travesty! I didn’t see this coming like I didn’t see George Michael coming!

Me: I know!

Now don’t get me wrong. It’s not the gay part that hurts me. It’s the Ricky Martin is gay part that tears me up. Okay, sure, sure. You probably think I’m overreacting. But there are certain men we all have fantasies about. Men who play the lead role in every erotic dream. The swash-buckling pirate. The bad boy returning to his hometown. Or the dark, broody executive who calls his secretary in his office during work hours and lays her out on his desk for a business lunch…oops! Wait. That’s my fantasy. Hee-hee! My point is Ricky Martin was that man for me once upon a time. He made me shiver! In memoriam of my dreams I watched the Living La Vida Loca video on YouTube…nope. Unhuh. Sorry. I didn’t see it coming. This isn’t Boy George or Clay Aiken obvious. This is George-Michael-I-Want-Your-Sex-Father-Figure-tight-blue-jeans-leather-jacket-and-guitar shocked!

*sigh* As my rant winds down (I’ve calmed but I don’t know about my sister. When I called her back, she was at Starbucks drowning her sorrow with an extra shot of espresso), I find myself approaching acceptance. Of course I’m happy for Ricky that he can now live an unburdened, honest life and be open about his sexuality. Great. It would be downright callous of me to begrudge him that. Yeah…callous…

So good for you, Ricky. It’s a brave thing you’re doing.

But all’s I’m saying is if Vin Diesel decides to make the same announcement…there’s going to be one naughty author chick on the 6 o’clock news being hauled to the pokey after she chained herself to his car in protest!


Wynter Daniels said...

LOL! Turn on your Gay-dar, girlfriend! When they are too pretty, when they look like they'd spend more time in front of the mirror, it's usually true. Not saying it isn't disappointing, but it's inevitable. By the way - Easter Bunny comes this weekend.

Naima Simone said...

LOL!! That's cold, Wynter! You knew too?? Sorry. I didn't see it! I'm no longer in denial now but I'm moving on. *sigh* So who's next, I ask you? Who's next?

Oh and I have plenty of carrots ready for Mr. Bunny...he does exist...LOL!

Savannah Stuart said...

Um, yeah, gonna have to side w/ Wynter! I didn't even know he needed to come out of the closet cuz I always assumed he was gay lol. He's just too pretty. I'm sorry you're disappointed though!

But you're right about Vin. If that man ever comes out, I'm chaining myself to the car right along side you! We can share a jail cell ;)

Stephanie Adkins said...

Add me to the list because I wasn't surprised at all. LOL! Sorry, Naima. *HUGS* There haven't been many men who have 'come out' recently that haven't shocked me except for Lance Bass from N'Sync. That one kind of threw me for a loop. My Gay-dar must have been on the fritz or something then. LOL

Chudney Defreitas-Thomas said...

Like Savannah I really wasn't surprised. But I'm with you guys on Vin.

Cara McKenna said...

Sorry, Naima. Either your gaydar's on the fritz or your denial-dial's cranked up too high!

But here's a bright side—you can still invite Ricky along to the m/m/f three-ways inside your head. All is not lost.

Michelle Polaris said...

Maybe I'm a glass half full kinda gal, but his announcement only opens up the lovely possibilities for combinations in my fantasies. Maybe you need to start writing menage, Naima. But even if you don't the wonderful part of fantasy is that you can still feature him in your dreams no matter his real life orientation.

Stephanie Adkins said...

Alright Cara, stop putting story ideas in my head. ROFL! I'm already behind on my WIP's as it is.

Jina Bacarr said...

You're a wonderful, feeling person, Naima. I feel that in every comment you post and in your blogs. It's that strong emotion that will help you in your writing.

I agree with Wynter--Easter Bunny is on his way and chocolate does help with just about everything!

Naima Simone said...

It's a conspiracy!! Everyone knew and didn't tell me!! *sob* Okay maybe I was on that long river in Egypt and I had my blinders on but I was hoodwinked! *shaking fist as she rails to the sky about the injustice of it all!* Okay, I said I was over it, right? LOL! But not all the pretty ones are gay! Look at...uh...what about...umm...Halle Berry's boyfriend! Yeah! He's not gay...so far...LOL!!

Menage, huh? That just may be the new frontier for me...hee-hee!! I suppose one of you wouldn't want to write a Ricky-look-a-like into one of your menage books as an ode to the death of his straighthood?

No? Okay I tried! LOL!

Naima Simone said...

Thank you, Jina! *blowing a kiss* See? Jina recognizes how deeply I feel! When I'm stabbed don't I bleed? Well, technically, we all do but you get the euphamism!! LOL!

And Stephanie, yeah, Lance Bass threw me too!! If I feel bad, imagine how all those girls who loved N'Sync felt. Hah! I'm feeling better! But c'mon! Who saw George Michael coming out of the closet??

Lanna Kaye said...

How did I just KNOW the second I started reading this post who penned-er, ranted-it. LOL

Naima! How could you NOT know?? My girl, he was just too feminine to even not guess. Sexy? Yes, by all means. But not even close to 'Vin-who-can-cross-your-eyes-nine-ways-to-Sunday Diesel.

But I feel for you...I really do.

Dalton Diaz said...

Yeah, I'm with Michelle on this one. So many yummy possibilities come to mind!
And, um, yeah, how could you NOT know? George Michael was a surprise back in the day because I was pretty young, but Ricky Martin? Didn't even need to adjust the gaydar.

Naima Simone said...

Okay fine!! I get it! That Ricky was gay came as news to only him and me! LOL! Still...I'm just sayin'...and that's what I'm saying...hee-hee!